Of all the things that draw people to being more intentionally intergenerational, ease is not one of them. In a world being rebuilt for efficiency, the slow and often nonlinear work of forging relationships across generations can feel daunting. In many churches, it might feel nearly impossible—perhaps like feeding thousands from one meal. But before the miracle, even Jesus’ disciples started by assessing the needs and resources available. To begin getting the generations back together, it would help us to first understand what keeps them apart.
Often, what divides the generations is structural.
Architectural Limitations
Architecture is not something most people consciously consider until they become conscious of it as a limitation. When it comes to intergenerational interactions, the seating capacity of the main sanctuary can be a decisive barrier, if a seemingly arbitrary one. If there is not enough space to accommodate all the generations on a Sunday morning or Wednesday evening, how can we even start to grow as the interdependent body of Christ?
Or, even if there is sufficient room, our spaces may feel too stuffy or too childish to accommodate intergenerational gatherings. In more than one way, thinking intergenerationally might mean “thinking outside the box” to solve difficulties.
Programming Limitations
Beyond seating constraints, another structure organizes not just our physical spaces but also our time: programming.
A church’s default programming may exclude intergenerational interactions incidentally, as when multiple services inadvertently divide a congregation along generational lines. Other divisions are intentional, as when small groups are designed for people of only certain ages and stages.
To be sure, to affirm the value of intergenerational community does not require eliminating programs that are tailored to particular groups. But if the unity of Christ is to be anything more than a half-hearted gesture, some programs need to be redesigned with intergenerational groups in mind.
Financing Limitations
Nothing says more about a church’s priorities than where the money goes. Church finances often reflect circumstances in the church body that are outside of anyone’s direct control, but they also reflect what control is available to shape the culture within a church. Is there room in the budget to consider attending a conference, buying different resources, even going on a retreat with leaders to dream about what it could look like to be more intergenerational? Money shouldn’t lead decision-making, but it certainly should follow it, including the deliberate decision to step into intergenerational faith formation.
A Failure of Imagination
Behind our buildings, Sunday morning blueprints, and budgets may be assumptions about what actually fosters spiritual growth. Is it content that best changes hearts or connection to God? If our ministry mindset follows our information economy in imparting information over formation, then making a case for including both the young and the old becomes difficult. Children are far less interested in three-point sermons about God than they are in experiencing life with God and others.
If our ministry mindset follows our information economy in imparting information over formation, then making a case for including both the young and the old becomes difficult.
As Michelle Anthony points out, the temptation to focus on memorization of facts is also a quick and quantifiable way of achieving ministry success. Ultimately, “when we succumb to the temptation of information over formation, we lose out on transformation. And transformation is measured slowly over time. So . . . we need eternal eyes that see what God is doing over the long haul and hearts that do not settle for quick results.”1
Instruction about God is needed, but it matters whether information transfer or heart transformation is the primary goal. When heart change is most important, intergenerational discipleship becomes a win-win proposition.
Don’t Choose Consumerism Over Community
Consumers see the church like shoppers, but while the “costs” are lower when the church is approached as a consumer, its “goods” are left behind as quickly as last season’s trends. More than a flashy worship set and a tightly-run service, what people need first and foremost is to be encouraged, built up, and known by a household of believers.
For Nick and Becky Drake, the metaphor most fitted to this community is not opening Christmas presents but Christmas dinner: From selecting a menu with something for everyone, to helping the younger ones eat, to tolerating corny jokes, the value of celebrating together outweighs individual convenience. Ultimately, this mindset “provokes us not to ask of our services, ‘Is everyone happy?,’ but instead to ask, ‘Is everyone loving the other? Serving one another? Working as one body? Acting as a family—the big family of God?’ ”2
Feed the Whole Church
“You give them something to eat” (Mark 6:37).
It would be easy to get hung up on the obstacles to intergenerational ministry. However, revisiting a quintessential story of Jesus’ ministry, the feeding the five thousand, can help us reframe scarcity in God’s terms. Mark’s narration acknowledges how overwhelming human needs can feel (both ours and theirs), but he also reminds us of an important conduit of God’s provision: each other.
In Mark 6:30–44, Jesus invites his disciples to retreat from the relentless tide of ministry to rest and eat. But they are ambushed by a large crowd, and when Jesus sees them, he is moved by their need and teaches them late into the day. After patience is exhausted, the disciples come to Jesus to tell him to send the crowds away to find something to eat.
The disciples didn’t trust Jesus’ pragmatic skillset.
Not only is he seemingly unaware of time, he seems to have forgotten that it was the disciples’ own fatigue and hunger that brought them there (but which, we might assume, is still at a low roar)! Instead of sending the crowds away, Jesus turns the need back to the disciples: you do it. He says, “You give them something to eat” (Mark 6:37). They are incredulous (“More than a half a year’s wages!”), but perhaps seeing that he is serious, they scrape up a few loaves and fish from a boy among them (Mark 6:37–38).
The miracle is not manna raining down. In this new kingdom of heaven Jesus is ushering in, the miracle comes—not through extensive resources or on-point messaging—but through the hands of other believers.
Welcome the Miracle
Whether they bring this meal to Jesus in expectation or in confusion, they do bring it. Jesus gives thanks for it, and somehow, as the disciples pass it out to empty hands, it feeds them all. The miracle is not manna raining down. In this new kingdom of heaven Jesus is ushering in, the miracle comes—not through extensive resources or on-point messaging—but through the hands of other believers.
When the lack feels overwhelming, we need to be reminded that an intergenerational community of believers is not another trendy goal of ministry; it is the centerpiece of God’s lavish economy—the means by which Jesus makes our little his lot. When we minister to one another in obedience despite the frailty of bodies and institutions, we can all eat together.
- Michelle Anthony and Megan Marshman, 7 Ministry Essentials: A Strategy for Culture Change in Children’s and Student Ministries (Colorado Springs: David C. Cook: 2015), 69. ↩︎
- Nick and Becky Drake, Worship for Everyone: Unlocking the Transforming Power of All-Age Worship (London: SPCK, 2021), 95–96. ↩︎
