Doesn’t it feel like we’re always “on”? Like a gaming console set to “stand by,” our minds are always running in the background. We have thoughts about thoughts, piled on top of more thoughts.
We’re rarely still, rarely listening. There’s always another voice, jingle, or notification pulling us to move, to look, to scroll.
While our devices are incredible tools with awesome capabilities, they’re also training us. We’ve become their disciples. They train our eyes, minds, and fingers to be perpetually alert. We’re being disciplined into being hyper-alert, ever-vigilant, and always-working humans.
God Wants Your Attention
Is it any wonder we have a sleep epidemic?
The moment our head hits the pillow, our bodies, our minds, and even our emotions finally get their chance to be heard. The internal chatter begins, and good luck getting any sleep!
It’s a spiritual phenomenon too. Your head hits the pillow, and suddenly, you can also hear the Holy Spirit. “Mmhmm. . . Mr. Stone, I’ve been trying to get a word with you.”
Surely bedtime can’t be the only time we are discipled in matters of our faith. Who wants this to be the only time they hear from God? Perhaps it’s worth considering a regular, intentional time to sit one-on-one with God, with no interruptions or competing voices. This, in essence, is the spiritual discipline of silence and solitude.
Who Benefits from Spiritual Disciplines?
Simply put, disciplines like silence and solitude are for disciples. Dallas Willard said, “The disciple is the one who, intent upon becoming Christlike and so dwelling in his ‘faith and practice,’ systemically and progressively rearranges his affairs to that end.”1
If you love Jesus and desire to follow him, you are his disciple. Therefore, these practices are for you—not a “super” Christian, the pastor, or those naturally introverted. They are for you.
What Are the Practices of Silence and Solitude?
Though they are related, silence and solitude can be distinct practices. It is possible to practice silence even without solitude just as it is possible to have solitude without silence.
Silence is the practice of not speaking, preferably in a quiet space. It usually involves setting aside time and space to be with God without interruption or noise. This means, no conversations, music, podcasts, or reading. It’s about creating space to simply listen.
Solitude is the practice of being alone with God. It may include silence, but the primary focus is on removing the presence of other people so it’s just you and God.
Both silence and solitude require intentionality. It’s not about shirking responsibility or getting in a spa day. Like Willard suggests, our intent with silence and solitude is to become more Christlike. We set aside a time to be silent and solitary with God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—to this end.
This isn’t to say the experience won’t be holistic. Jesus cares for and means to transform every part of you. There is no greater proof of this than Jesus himself, who came in full humanity. Body, soul, spirit, he tends to every bit of us in the spaces of silence and solitude. While it’s not a spa treatment, deep rest and healing often occur.
How Do We Practice Silence and Solitude?
Consider Jesus’s own ministry. Jesus begins his ministry with great success. He teaches in the synagogue, wins followers, and then goes on to heal many later that night. The whole town of Capernaum seems to be there.
Suddenly, in the midst of this crucial ministry, Mark 1:35 tells us, “Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Jesus sought solitude amid the activity.
In Greek, this solitary place means “deserted place.” It’s the same word used for the wilderness where Jesus was led away to be tempted and came out victorious. Solitude is a formative time.
Jesus sought solitude amid the activity.
We see direction and formation in what happens next. Jesus’ disciples found him saying, “Everyone is looking for you!” In other words, We’ve got work to do. Come back. However, Jesus had been with the Father and was given a different direction. He tells them, “Let’s go somewhere else. . . so I can preach. . . That is why I have come” (see Mark 1:35–39).
This was the ebb and flow of Jesus’ ministry: solitude followed by ministry, action directed by relationship with the Father. We, his disciples, are to do likewise. We retreat with him to align our hearts and then our actions with his.
We retreat with [God] to align our hearts and then our actions with his.
Applying Silence and Solitude to Your Life
Here are some practical ideas to explore.
Solitude:
- Daily: Set aside 15 minutes to be alone with God where you can’t be interrupted. Listen to him and then speak or journal what you hear.
- Weekly: Plan a one-hour “lunch retreat.” Feast with the Lord—just you and him.
- Monthly/Quarterly: Plan an overnight retreat. Bring a Bible, a book, and a journal but let the Lord set the agenda on the fly.
- Yearly: Weekend retreat. Extend the monthly practice for at least two nights.
Silence:
- Daily: Turn off the music during your commute or go for a run, walk, hike without listening to anything.
- Weekly: Choose one day a week to leave the TV off or to put your phone out of reach.
- Monthly or Quarterly: Plan half-day silent retreat. Journal what you hear from God.
- Yearly: Plan a whole day of silence. Bring art supplies or a journal. In silence create, write, and get messy as you create based on what you hear from God.
Remember, this isn’t a new law. However, it can be a Rule of Life; a rhythm you build into your days. Do it in a manner that works for you but, again, be intentional. I find if I schedule it, it’s more likely to happen.
What Will It Be Like?
When you practice silence and solitude, you may experience a range of feelings. Moments may feel awkward, like being alone with a stranger. You might feel an itch to escape. That’s OK; notice it. Then explore it with God in prayer.
Other moments may feel like you’re sitting by a warm fire on a winter day. It’ll be like riding in a car with someone you deeply love, where silence is comfortable and full of knowing. No need to fill the space with noise.
You might also find yourself taking an honest look at your life. God may highlight things needing his correction. It’s also possible to experience profound encouragement from God, receiving grace in the areas where you are struggling in your daily life.
In the quiet, Jesus might also teach you to entrust your reputation and relationships to him. As Richard Foster explains, “We no longer need to be sure everyone understands us or thinks well of us. We let go of even needing to know what they think of us. We are silent.”2
Whatever you do though, be human in it. God is not expecting anything else, and you can’t fool him! So be you with him there in the silence and solitude. In this discipline, you’ll be shaped and formed. New muscles will grow. Your soul will deepen. This is the way of the disciple.
