Relevance has become somewhat of a buzz word in the church. And with pure hearts, the goal is often the same:
We need relevant sermons.
We need relevant programming.
We need relevant worship.
We need to be relevant.
The undercurrent of these desires is to appropriately and accurately meet the needs of the people, being a source of truth and a pillar of hope.
But relevance is the fruit that comes from a more important root: resonance.
The Importance of Resonance
Relevance and resonance tend to sound similar but speak with differing tones. Relevance says, This applies to me. Resonance says, This sees and hears me. Can you tell the difference?
One speaks to considering something; the other speaks to connecting with someone.
Whether we realize it or not, language is one of the primary ways that we resonate with one another. The nuances of resonance, especially as we disciple others, make all the difference in how we walk, talk, and sit with one another.
Whether we realize it or not, language is one of the primary ways that we resonate with one another.
Scientifically, resonance is defined as “the phenomenon where the frequency of vibration in one entity harmonizes closely with the natural frequency of another, triggering the latter to vibrate distinctly owing to the vibrations of the former.”1
In other words, when something is truly in tune, a response is inevitable.
Resonance isn’t forced; it’s instinctual. It is a natural byproduct of being in tune.
Musical Frequency Applied to Discipleship
Much like musical notes, human beings all have “frequencies.” We carry stories that emit waves, experiences that ring with unique pitches, and joys and sorrows that add weight. We possess both triumph and toil, hope and hopelessness, and life encounters that have colored our sound.
As the church, resonance happens best when the frequencies of our fellowship echo the cries of our hearts. Simply put, discipleship begins when resonance begins—when we can freely verbalize our thoughts, emotions, fears, doubts, and questions with the expectation that our words won’t lead to disconnection. Because we want deeper connection.
The question is, how do we, those entrusted to disciple, resonate with one another?
How Jesus Resonated
Throughout the Gospel accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, we frequently see Jesus use an element that resonates with his audiences: parables. These parables, or stories with moral implications, were uniquely (and perfectly) tailored to the specific people in front of him.
In every circumstance, Jesus seemed to have an acute ear to hear the frequency of the room and respond accordingly.
Jesus spoke their language. Maybe not literally . . . but we certainly know that he spoke the heart language of humanity.
To fishermen, Jesus spoke in fishing terms.
To the sick, Jesus spoke as a gentle healer.
To the outcasts, Jesus spoke with an invitation that beckoned them near.
To the grieving, Jesus wept.
In every circumstance, Jesus seemed to have an acute ear to hear the frequency of the room and respond accordingly.
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 9:20–23,
“To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”
This isn’t being inconsistent; it’s being integrated.
Break the Language Barrier
Every person has a language.
Some speak in logic and are concrete—they like facts to follow.
Some speak abstractly, preferring metaphor or imagery to see or hear with greater clarity.
There are those who speak the language of emotion, who need empathy and authenticity to understand and be understood.
There are those who speak the language of story.
Others speak through tears, pain, questions, doubts, or even through quiet sighs and the language inherent in silence.
Whatever their language may be, as those entrusted to disciple, our job is to first learn how to speak the multitude of languages of the people in front of us. In this way, we learn to be all things to all people.
To learn any language requires both study and exposure. Which means to notice what people are saying but also to notice what they aren’t.
- Are they guarded when you ask questions?
- What topics excite them?
- What topics feel more sensitive or cause resistance?
- What’s their tone and volume of communication?
As those entrusted to disciple, our job is to first learn how to speak the multitude of languages of the people in front of us.
The key is to move with people rather than moving against, having the flexibility and humility to follow their lead.
Move at the Right Tempo
Resonance isn’t just about pitch; it’s also about pace.
Every person has a particular speed at which they move. If you’re anything like me, you move quickly. I process fast and verbally, always ready to move on to the next thing, only lingering when necessary. But if you’re like my wonderful husband, your pace may be a bit more contemplative and calculated. He needs more time to process and prepare.
To truly resonate, we must adjust our speed to the movement of the people we’re discipling.
If you’re discipling a thinker, you may need to create space for them to process, work through logic, and wait.
On the other hand, feelers may need you to approach them through storytelling, creating common ground through shared experience. Offer space to sit with rather than to move through.
For doers and fixers, their default response is to act and learn through tangibles; try offering a clear and concise action step that allows them to learn through experience.
For those who reflect and process deeply, create margin to journal, asking intentional questions, rather than giving answers.
This stretching of adaptive muscles allows you to love at a level that’s microscopic, seeing the small details that paint a larger picture.
Harmony Happens Human to Human
Have you ever felt moved by the song of a choir? Had a visceral reaction to hearing a chorus of people sounding like one, resounding voice?
Something divine happens when a musical note is struck and every string tuned to that note begins to vibrate. It’s called harmony. Harmony is the unique blend of individual notes becoming one.
In that same vein, every person carries a note that reflects their story.
With discipleship, beauty comes in recognizing the note in front of us, choosing not to replicate it, but to strengthen it by adding our own harmony. Harmony, in essence, is the art of blending multiple notes in a way that complements and uplifts the overall sound.
The “notes” of someone’s life may be their temperament—whether they’re energetic and people-oriented or analytical and need unity amongst people for peace.
A “note” may be the story they carry—whether they’ve just lost a parent, ended a relationship, endured church hurt, or have been overlooked or undervalued. A “note” may be their wiring and the way in which God has crafted them—with hospitality, creativity, building, shaping, or leading.
Discipleship in this context looks like complementing the “note” they play by challenging, cultivating, and comforting. Discernment helps us figure out what tools to use and when.
A Joyful Noise
When we, the church, chase relevance, we end up shouting, hoping to speak into the void in a way that’s accurate.
But what if the goal wasn’t chasing relevance, but resonance?
What if the actual “win” is to speak and teach and walk with people in a way that isn’t louder, but in tune with them?
What if the actual “win” is to speak and teach and walk with people in a way that isn’t louder, but in tune with them?
Resonance requires us to move from the shallow to the deep, listen more intently, and posture ourselves accordingly. The beauty the world has been searching for may just lie in the synergy that reverberates from our resonance. May our love for others be a joyful noise unto our cities, our countries, and our world!
More Resources to Explore:
McManus, Erwin Raphael. The Seven Frequencies of Communication: The Hidden Language of Human Connection. Los Angeles: Arena, 2024.
- “Resonance,” M5 Music, accessed July 17, 2026, https://www.m5music.hk/en/dictionary/resonance/. ↩︎
